From: JW

Date: 8-06-2016

Subject: Barefoot Dating

[In response to an SBL member’s question: “I was wondering if anyone has had a hard time finding that special someone that is OK with barefoot lifestyle,” JW responded:]

I would guess a barefooter dating site would get pretty lonely. I have met a lot of people and I think I met one girl who would qualify as a “barefooter” for people on this list. That was in community college many years ago. I remember how people talked about her. They called her “cave girl” and talked about how she would dirty up her boyfriend’s bed with her black soles and such. I guess it gave me some perspective on how people talk about me behind my back.

We weren’t close but not strangers either. We ran in the same crowds. I think we enjoyed knowing that there was somebody else walking around the school barefoot. I remember we went with some friends on a road trip and I had to give her money to get me some food because she thought to keep some shoes in her purse. We never dated. She was pretty and nice but it wasn’t there. I guess that’s the thing. I can’t see building a relationship around going barefoot.

That said, I wouldn’t put up with fighting about it either. That, again, is just my take. That’s never been a problem with anybody I have been with. I make it pretty obvious up front that I am not a shoe wearer. I go barefoot to most any social function. I imagine people who have a problem with that are turned off straight away. Some tolerance and respect should be standard issue for any relationship.

I have had long periods with no one too. I don’t know how many people my bare feet have scared off. Still, I think I have been luckier than some might be. Being a musician and artist, I tend to hang with a more liberal (with the “rules”) crowd. An artist can get away with being strange. In fact, it’s endearing to some. Just last night, I played a gig at a club in Provo Utah. Straight away, a woman told me how much she loved that I was barefoot. I joked that my shoes were forty miles away and there wasn’t much choice in the matter (which was true). I think someone in a more conservative, buttoned down, world would have a lot more trouble running around barefoot and finding a positive reception for it. I didn’t choose to be an artist because it would allow me to go barefoot but it’s a nice perk.

Finding the right person is difficult. I wouldn’t close the door on someone who doesn’t run around barefoot everywhere like me. That’s probably eliminates 99.9 percent of everyone. Still, I think it’s a good idea to make sure that your barefoot habit isn’t a late surprise. That’s easy. All you need to do is stay barefoot though I wouldn’t take a date someplace where you are likely to get kicked out… unless she is going barefoot too. I’ve been kicked out with girlfriends before. I can’t deny the pleasures of a partner in crime.

I would rule out people who can’t stand you going barefoot, especially if you are unlikely to change your ways. That just sounds like an endless loop of the same crappy fight. I am just not into intolerance. I think it’s ugly. That leaves a healthy percentage to start with. It’s a more connected world now but I think it’s tougher to meet people in many ways, too.

JW